HEADS UP!

Technical Glitch
Power of this pattern didn't want to give up...

Over Achiever (continued)

    The past, locked behind the doors of anguish and shame that the Holocaust signified was never discussed. Helen only knew the barest outlines of the tension and hurt that tumbled through the generations. They thought by not talking they created an immunity from the pain. Until one day. That’s what it took. One day. She was invited to visit the Holocaust museum in Washington with a group of business dignitaries. It was good press, a front page spread on the key executives that would be in the national news. The timing was remarkable. She had just completed a leadership program that focused on the internal behavioral patterns that play out at work. Not quite convinced that behaviors from the long forgotten past had anything to do with the present, she had resisted telling her full story, had stayed on the periphery of the group, felt her successes spoke for her and did not see the real purpose for all the self-exploration. So, there she was in Washington, walking a virtual reality path of her ancestors. It was a grueling day.

    That night, as she was falling asleep, she had a moment of astounding clarity. Her pattern of super achieving was based on survival. It was pure Darwinism. She was living proof only the strong survive. She cried herself into a dreamless state born from the exhaustion of realizing that all her achieving was really about keeping her and her family secure and safe.

    Patterns run deep in the nervous system and the “aha” of change takes time to bear fruit. Fast-forward one year. She began taking vacations that were relaxing rather than to prove her strength. She left the office for family time. She permitted her children to forego the extra curricular activities they only did to please her. They now had free time to explore, roam, even, heaven forbid, be lazy.

    At work she transformed the super achiever into its healthy aspect, the creative collaborator. She was now able to acknowledge the ideas of others and appreciate best practices instituted elsewhere. She was aware that, in the past, her obsessive demands on others were misplaced fears of survival. The “hungry ghost” gave way to compassion and appreciation for others.

    At her company annual meetings there are now special awards for groups who work together in innovative, collaborative ways. An environment of cooperation and camaraderie is emerging and Helen shares openly with people that her past obsession with being a super achiever, and her unwillingness to look at her internal world was based on fear. In her own words “It’s hard to say this, yet to “not see” is just like being a “Nazi”!