The Tiger and the Truth

Lots of buzz about Tiger Woods and a party girl coming to the surface after the car crash on Thanksgiving. What does it mean to you and to me? Does it really matter if he is having an affair? Does it matter that he won’t talk to the police? Does it matter that Nike is standing by their guy? 

All of this will swirl for a week or two and then fall into that mysterious void where old stories go as new ones emerge. One thing we know is that Tiger is a great golf player. Beyond that what are his virtues? Have we ever voted for him to be an exemplary leader? Do we really all want our kids to be like him? Is it all about money and recognition?

Maybe this is the time for us to all exhale and really think about the role models we want to offer the younger generations. Maybe it is time for leadership development programs to do a deep dive into what makes someone a leader rather than just a “talking head” for sports stuff, clothing stuff or cars.

We have become so boringly superficial about what we want our kids to emulate that other than “things”, we have little to value. If Tiger had been the same great golf player and had not made a boatload of money would we still be mesmerized by his style?

As an executive coach and family therapist, it was not difficult to put together the implications of slamming into a tree at 2:30 am. It sounded like a family feud with some guilt and sadness sprinkled into the mix.

So, how much do we need to know? What will make us feel complete with this incident? How many magazine covers will it take till we are saturated with Tiger and his troubles? And, what would it mean if Tiger Woods came forward and said “Yes, we are having some marital issues and are in the process of getting help to find a better way”?

Positive role models are human beings who have learned to tell the truth in a way that helps us all see a better path from a difficult situation. That‘s where real leadership shows up. In our Total Leadership Connections program we teach that telling the truth is a high art form. It takes discipline and practice in our culture that is prone to either hide or embellish what is really going on.  What we teach is that telling the truth is not spilling your guts. We also teach that it is not running away from a situation so that rumors and innuendos languish in dark places.

So, let’s hope one of Tiger’s ‘handlers’ helps him find the courage to say simply, “Yes, we have problems and we are working on them”.

That would be a leader I would want to suggest my kids and grandchildren take seriously beyond just a super skill with a golf club.