Avoiders are often the silent type who never admit vulnerabilities and stay clear of individuals who they think may judge them as inadequate on any level. They will often be willing to “go down with the ship” rather than admit they had a part in a project mishap and there is a need to change course. Flexibility means failure to avoiders.
If you challenge an avoider to complete the project you will get the “deer in the headlights” look. Then any excuse will work for a fast exit. The basic instinct of the avoider is to stay out of the line of fire. When stress is high avoiders will passively shut down and be quiet. If, however, they are challenged they will point blame at another to change the focus of attention. This passive-aggressive response mechanism is a classic sign you are dealing with an avoider.
Avoiders are also excuse makers. They will swear you never told them the meeting time was changed. And they will continue to make excuses until you are worn down to just let the issue pass. The avoider’s ability to push all issues underground, where there is even a modicum of conflict creates paralysis of production at work.
GOOD NEWS – The Avoider can become an Initiator! Being the one to begin a difficult discussion takes resourcefulness and endurance and all the pent up energy that had formerly been directed into the fear of being judged is now freed up for positive collaboration.
Take the next step now towards positive change.
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