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Business, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Managing Stress, Stress

What are your usual coping mechanisms?

Sylvia Lafair
April 1, 2020

I did a survey asking the following question: What are your usual coping mechanisms?

Take a minute and answer it for yourself.

The responses I received went from “Eating junk food” to “Playing games online” to “Binge-watching “Tiger King” to “Mixing a batch of martinis” and on and on.

Most responses were about indulging in one way or another. Indulge means to participate in an activity that is undesirable or disapproved of and doing it much too often.

I hear you saying “Just zip it and no preaching, please. Not now. Not when I must adjust to life changes that I didn’t choose. I just want some comfort. Is that so bad?”

Nope, not bad at all.

Although, maybe, just maybe, there are more positive ways to spend your time.

We retreat to indulgences when we feel threatened and want to run to a safe, familiar place for our own survival.

That brings me to a Cherokee legend that we all need to think about. You see, when crises and change are upon us, we have choices.

There are two wolves and they are always fighting.

One is darkness and despair, the other light and hope.

Which one wins?

The one you feed!

Listen closely and you can hear LIFE requesting you to use the reset button. Right here and right now. Requesting you think differently, change your habits. Stop indulging.

Here’s a way to think about which wolf you are feeding right here and right now and what you can do differently.

There is the survival brain. And there is the creative brain.

The survival brain is vital for safety. Its goal is to keep you out of harm’s way. It is in the brain stem and the limbic system. A Key player is the amygdala (what I have named Amy Hijack). It’s responsible for detecting fear and preparing for emergency events. It then sends a message of “danger here” to the hypothalamus to trigger a fight or flight response.

The emotions in the survival brain include anxiety, anger, disappointment, shame, revenge, regret, and blame.

Many of us live there most of the time.

The creative brain is in the frontal cortex, hippocampus, basal ganglia and white matter.

The emotions here include curiosity, peacefulness, empathy, joy, calmness, ability to plan, joy and gratitude.

OKAY.

Which area of the brain do you want to feed?

Donald Hebb, a Canadian neuropsychologist said it best. Known as Hebb’s law: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” And that means, with enough repetitions, your thoughts and behaviors become ingrained patterns.

Now, that’s a game-changer.

What does this mean to you? Yes, you. You going through changing times that require you to adapt and adjust?

It means in a short sentence, “The more we move away from fear and defeat and move toward curiosity and exploration, the more we feed the creative brain.”

Which part of your brain do you want to feed right now?

Keep an eye out for my brand new masterclass “How to Practice Safe Stress During Times of Distress” and learn the mental/emotional exercises to feed the part of your brain that will support better health and more success.

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Managing Stress, Stress

7 Ways to “Practice Safe Stress” during times of confusion and chaos

Sylvia Lafair
March 25, 2020

What do you do when others are driving you nuts? When you can’t seem to catch your breath because so much is being asked of you? When you must change your schedule to please others who claim to need you ‘right now’?

Do you go on the attack and say whatever comes to mind to get back at the offenders?

Or do you slide away quietly and go into hibernation, hoping that by ignoring the situation, you will be ok?

Guess what?

Attacking or retreating leads to the same place. More aggravation.

Either way, you lose!

Using these typical methods to handle stress won’t solve the problem.

Okay, you want to know what will solve the problem?

Do you want to learn how to practice safe stress?

Here are some ideas to help you gain control when you begin to wobble while responding to others.

FIRST: Where do your emotions reside? In Freakoutville or Zombieville?

FREAKOUTVILLE is filled with:

Drama kings and queens who take up all the space with their rantings
Rebels who are never willing to compromise
Superachievers who push everyone aside, so they are always first
Bully persecutors who put others down to feel good about themselves

ZOMBIEVILLE is filled with:

Procrastinators who make excuses so they cannot be held accountable
Avoiders who run in the other direction to avoid conflict
Deniers who pretend that all is fine and won’t look at difficulties
Pleasers who say yes to be liked and pretend they are happy to help

What is your primary pattern of responding?

Once you can pinpoint your typical way of responding you can learn to “reverse the curse” of getting your buttons pushed and falling victim to your own worn out, repetitive ways of responding.

Yes, it is a curse to keep getting caught in outdated, ineffective ways of behaving.

Only YOU can make the changes to get out of Freakoutville or Zombieville and get into the SAFE STRESS ZONE.

Here’s how:

1. Think like a computer: Unbridled emotions can limit confidence, communication, and creativity (the 3 C’s of success). Be like a computer and press the delete button once you see you are in the extremes of either Freakoutville or Zombieville.
2. See the pattern as AAP: It’s just ‘Another Annoying Pattern’ brought to you from the depths of your nervous system meant to keep you safe and secure when you were a kid and no longer needed.
3. Don’t feed the weed: When you pull young weeds from the garden it is super easy to get rid of them. If you feed the weeds, they will grow deep roots and you must tug and tug to get them out.
4. Stop the avalanche: Snowballs are fun to throw until they become so large you no longer have control. Maybe make a snowman and put a sock over its mouth.

Once is NOT enough: Staying in either extreme of overreacting or underreacting will continue to pop up, like pimples on a teenage face. So, keep clearing your thoughts and please don’t pick at the scabs.

Stand and be counted: Good posture helps diminish stress. Not only do you look better, but you also breathe better, and more oxygen in your body makes for a better mood. Stand, smile (even if you need to fake it at first) and in a few minutes the anger will subside.

Shrug IT OFF: Bring your shoulders to your ears and then let them drop. Do this rapidly. Inhale while you raise your shoulders and exhale when you lower. Think “Is this worth fighting or hiding” and just shrug it off as you walk into the safe stress zone to communicate effectively.

Practicing SAFE STRESS comes from being able, to tell the truth, stand for what is right, and learning how to say no without having to defend, explain or justify. You learn to be heard, accepted and appreciated.

Even better, you save your energy for what is fun and creative rather than staying stuck in anger.

Safe stress is good for you, it’s good for the world.

Business, Change, Growth, Managing Stress

Finding Peace of Mind During These Uncertain Times

Sylvia Lafair
March 18, 2020

Here is one email among many that are all requesting the same thing: peace of mind. Here is the email and how I responded.

Dear Dr. Sylvia,

I am almost frozen with fear. The news is awful, my health is fair, my finances are poor and my ability to look at this time as a “learning experience” is dwindling.

I can barely talk with my employees and stay positive. At home I have the patience of an inch worm.

How the hell do I climb out of this dark place? It looks like the bad news will keep going and going. I need to know what is happening in the world; however I really want to stop getting information since none of it looks good.

I keep talking to myself and attempting to think positive thoughts. Nothing is working. Any suggestions?

Signed,

Unhappy and unlucky

Dear Unhappy and unlucky,

You are speaking for most of us in these days of walking in the unknown. Is this a moment in time or is it Armageddon?

What comes to mind is what my dear teacher, Ram Dass used to say when asked what to do if things are really bad.

He said if it is just a moment in time “I center myself, do my best to be of service and live in the moment.”

And if it is the worst of times, he said “I center myself, do my best to be of service and live in the moment.”

I know this may not make you happy and lucky, and yet, it is the best advice I have right now.

If you are in a leadership position or an emerging leader you do need to take some deep breaths shake off the fear and be a model for others to emulate.

Here are a few suggestions:

Take time to be quiet and recalibrate.

Fear has a way of expanding into the “what if” area and the end result is “we’re all gonna die.” Then we give up, curl into a ball and wait for the worst to happen. Recalibrate. Rethink. Reengage. Yes, we’re all gonna die sooner or later. However, that is NOT the issue at hand.

It’s about finding the “pony in the manure pile.” (If you don’t know the story it’s about a little boy who is sure the pony he dreamed of getting for his birthday is there, yes there somewhere in that pile of manure).

Check your emotional temperature:

Often fear in the present is part of your past story or else part of the story from your ancestors. You do not have to repeat the story of generations gone by in the same way they did. Think about those in your family who had to endure war or a recession or serious health issues.

How did they handle trying times? Learn from them. You can change the pattern to a more positive one once you become a detective and ask about their stories.

Focus on a routine for your health:

Think before you eat or drink just to gain comfort. Sometimes the best comfort is a piece of fruit rather than a martini or glass of wine. Indulge if you must in the mashed potatoes or macaroni or pasta that remind you of easier childhood times.

However, make sure you drink water, and again, from childhood, eat your veggies.

Reach out and touch someone:

In this virtual world where social distancing is a way of being responsible please find someone you can email or call (hearing someone’s voice can be super comforting) and just say two things, ask how they are and then ask how you can be of help.

Doing for others is a way of feeling good about you too.

There is a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that sums up what you, as a leader need to remember today and tomorrow and then the next day “Women (all people) are like tea bags. You can’t tell how strong they are until they are in hot water.”

This is a time to think about how you and you and you, all of us begin to understand that “we’re all in it together and no one wins unless we all do.”

We are hopefully finally moving from a ‘me” to a “we” world that is just now coming into focus. Let’s all do our part and not let fear freeze us.

To your success,

Sylvia

Leadership, Managing Stress, Stress

How Great Leaders Tackle Anxiety and Overwhelm

Sylvia Lafair
March 12, 2020
anxiety, Leadership, overwhelm

So many people these days are asking me what do we do with the anxiety.

I’m feeling stuff I haven’t created. It’s out there, but I’ve got to handle it and we all all of us really need to know how to handle it. So, think about this, you’re taking a walk in the woods and in the distance, you see something that looks a little squirrely out there. Not a squirrel and you say to yourself, “is that a snake?” or a stick and what? Do you start to back off until you look and you say, “is it moving? Isn’t it moving?” and finally you get whew. It’s a stick and you keep going and kind of toss it into the underbrush. So, nobody else will be bothered with it. So, why do we get feel it was a stick? Why do we get so nervous? Well, we have all of the survival skills that have been handed to us for thousands of years to keep us alive, to protect us.

They’re good. We need them but sometimes they get out of control, and we become so afraid of everything that we don’t know. How to work, walk, live, breathe, be with each other and right now, with stress really at a high level as leaders or emerging leaders. It’s really important to know what to do.

So, one of the things I want you to get is what happens in the brain. Our brains are programmed to really go toward reward and away from punishment. Toward what’s good and away from what we think is bad. Think about, if it were a snake and we’re afraid, we would back off. It’s a stick, no big deal. Okay, think about that and what we do when we get a reward is, we’re rewarded. Our brain gives us extra dopamine and I don’t want to go into a major scientific understanding of this, but I really want you to get that when we have promotions, when have successes and we feel good. Our brain is saying, all right let’s give him or her something really good to work with and we get some extra goodies in our bodies and we feel good about it and that’s where it’s good.

Now, the other part of this is when we are faced with something that is frightening or difficult or creates anxiety in us. How do we handle it? Well, here’s my theory and it’s a lot of researchers going into this and I’ve worked with thousands of people who have come back and said, “you know, when I saw the snake, not the stick, this is how I handled it” and I want you to think about this: it’s about adapting to the moment, taking a deep breath and thinking to yourself, this too shall pass because things do pass. Change is the way of the world and think about one of the great leaders during a difficult time in the history in America, was Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and remember his famous saying: the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

So, when you’re in a difficult situation, when things aren’t going your way, when you have to cancel a meeting, when you have to not be presented with an award because nobody can show up at the time, what do you do? You take a deep breath. You say to yourself, “and this shall pass.” That will give the brain a little bit of room to say, “well if it’ll pass, maybe I can show up and give her some dopamine and make her feel better,” but do something at home by yourself. Close the door and we know that what we do feels better when we dance a little bit, sing a little bit, look at beautiful things. So, take the time during these stressful times to handle your anxiety by doing something that is going to give you some of that dopamine and make you feel better. So that, then you can say to people the only thing we have to fear is fear itself and help people move on.

Have a blessed day and here’s to your success.

Thank you so much.

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Growth, Gutsy, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Managing Stress

What to do when life seems out of balance

Sylvia Lafair
December 18, 2019

Everyone is telling me this year has more stress and strain than in the past? You agree?

“Why,” people are asking, “is life so much more out of balance now?”

I must admit, I’m not sure. However, I have a hunch that all the social media stuff is really making us kinda crazy.

I was taking a few minutes to think about what we can learn from this seemingly frantic year and I landed on one word.

CURIOSITY

CURIOSITY is the doorway that can keep us all from falling down the rabbit hole of overwhelm and self-doubt.

CURIOSITY is the doorway that stimulates growth, joy, and expansion.

CURIOSITY is what helps us out of the prison of frustration and insecurity.

Let me explain. But, first a question.

What do you do when your plate is overflowing and you need to say STOP, yet you are afraid you will disappoint everyone?

I’ve asked lots of people this question and most of the answers fall into three categories

I just put my head down and keep going.
I eat every comfort food I can find and just keep going.
I give up and turn on Netflix.

Here is a better idea. For the rest of your lives you can do what I am now about to suggest. Do what I say, for at least one day and see how it feels and how your thinking can become more centered.

Ready?

For ONE MINUTE out of every hour (that’s just 60 seconds) allow for the unexpected. Just take that minute and reclaim the wonder of the very small child. In that one minute, fatigue will go, and curiosity and creativity will enter. And even better, your heart can open.

You can call it a minute meditation, you can call it a minute to chill out, you can call it anything you like. It is less than 15 minutes in your whole day to get away from your daily grind.

Then go back to what you were doing.

I have offered this technique to thousands of people and my guess is that at least 60% of those who did this one- minute- stop found that they were more creative and more content after a few days.

Set your watch or computer or smart phone. Just one minute each hour can make amazing changes in how you view the daily situation you are in.

There is a curious child in each of us that would love to come out and play. I’ll meet you on the swing set and climbing wall.

Growth, Gutsy, Managing Stress, Patterns, Stress, Success

How to get yourself out of overwhelm

Sylvia Lafair
December 11, 2019

How to get yourself out of overwhelm seems to be a recurring theme right now. One of my clients put it this way “I came home from work and kicked the dog.”

Then, at least 7 other clients texted me this week with concerns that were variations on the ‘kick the dog’ theme. They were all about the conundrum (what a funny word), the confusing and difficult problem that seems to be number 1 right now.

Here’s what Jen wrote, “Hey Sylvia, I had a rotten day at work. Nothing seemed to jell. My report was shot down by my boss, my favorite co-worker is out for 6 weeks with a broken leg from a crazy accident, and I had to cancel a business trip to my favorite city (I was going to stay for an extra day and just wander around Paris). Then I got home, and the dog peed on the new carpet, my kid has a test end of the week and he has no idea what the teacher is talking about, and my husband is out of town all week.

I must say, I was rather nasty and yelled at my kid, the dog, and my husband all within about 10 minutes.

The big question is: why don’t problems stay in their own little boxes?

The ones from work seem to bleed into family time and the annoyances from family seem to spill out at work.

I can’t compartmentalize!!!!!

Is this a woman thing? Or does it happen to men too?

So, help, please.”

The other 6 texts were from both men and women. So, yes, both males and females are having a hard time getting out of the overwhelm of too much to do, not doing it right, and getting angry at everyone at once.

Can this problem be solved?

Yes.

While disappointment and frustration won’t go away (so sorry about that), what can be done is to get yourself out of the overwhelm and find your own personal way of not letting your emotions get the best of you.

Let’s start with 3 questions:

Are you aware of what pushes your buttons at work? At home?
Can you recover quickly when you get triggered, upset, or stressed?
Have you done personal work to stop the mad or sad feelings from spilling over?

My point to all my clients, from Corporate CEO’s to Entrepreneurs is this: Your upsets will bleed from family to work and vice versa, unless and until you put the flashlight on YOU, and figure out how to express what you are feeling in ways that don’t disrupt or destroy relationships.

If you, like so many these days, are emotionally exhausted and are getting ready to ‘kick the dog’ it’s time to do something in real-time.

If you are failing to meet deadlines, feel hopeless or helpless, have decreased motivation, feel stuck and trapped then make a move in a new direction.

Help is here.

I suggest you do a pattern breakthrough strategy call (its free) to get some clear direction CLICK HERE to schedule yours.

Think of it this way. If you don’t do something now, you will come home from work, day after day and kick the dog. You will never know how to get yourself out of overwhelm. It will become a habit for emotional release. The habit becomes a pattern. Then if the dog is not there whoever is closest will get the brunt of your upset.

Not good.

Yet, if you fix the problem of how to get yourself out of overwhelm and you handle getting triggered, you will oversee what happens next. You’ll be in charge, not at the mercy of your emotions.

Don’t let the months and years go by without finding a new way out of upset and not knowing how to get yourself out of overwhelm.

You don’t want to look back with regret. Do you? Book your pattern breakthrough call.

Managing Stress, Stress

Practice Safe Stress

Sylvia Lafair
September 29, 2019
coping with stress, managing stress, safe stress, Stress

Calling all ambitious, motivated female leaders to let go of overwhelm and learn SAFE STRESS.

+ Learn the technique of Safe Stress (that unique area between the extremes of exhaustion and not giving a damn).

+ Find the best way for you to stop burnout before it stops you.

+ Practice the specific communication that can keep you from over-giving and under-getting.

+ The Safe Stress zone is where health and well-being reside. It’s where you want to be.

Watch this video for the most effective ways to stay in the zone and thrive physically, mentally, and emotionally.

👉Leave a comment or PM me if you have questions or want more info on how to get yourself out of overwhelm and into the Safe Stress Zone.

Confidence, Growth, Managing Stress, Stress, Success

5 Sayings That Will Inspire You Even When You Feel Overwhelmed and Frustrated

Sylvia Lafair
September 25, 2019

I want to share a story from one of my coaching clients that I’m sure will resonate with you if you’ve ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated…

One of my coaching clients sent the following, “I had a fender bender on the way to work. Then, because I was late and rushing, I tripped going on the up escalator. (Who the heck ever trips on a UP escalator?). Then, I spilled coffee on my new shirt.

They say bad things come in 3’s.

It’s not true. Bad things can be like an avalanche and keep happening. I will tell you what happened later after I ask for some HELP. Yes, I really need some help to quash the loud, unforgiving voice in my head saying, “You really are a total jerk.”

My self-doubt has me glued to my office chair. I’m afraid to get up for fear that I will start the next wave of 3 more terrible things happening to prove what a jerk I really am.

What I need is a way to turn off the noise in my head and get some work done. So, please give me something to smile about.

That said, back to my bad luck day.

My assistant stood at the doorway of my office with a look of “How can I tell him this?”

The “this” was that one of our best clients is taking business elsewhere. AND, informed us in a very sanitized email with little explanation.

At that point, I thought I should poke a pen in my eye.

That would be “bad thing 5” and then maybe be proactive and cancel my massage (where I figured I would get my back out of whack) to stave off “bad thing 6” when I got a message that my massage was canceled.

Now I must worry about what next awful thing will happen.

What do you suggest when a bad day is really, really, a bad day?

Here is my response.

When stress is high, and energy is low you need some of my Bumper Stickers For The Brain. You gotta remember the following:

Change is constant: Become like a flowing river by constantly adapting and improvising and keep moving.

Victims become victors: Find at least three options to each situation by asking yourself what else you can do to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Winners never whine: Winning is an attitude that includes grace under pressure to not judge, blame or attack yourself or anyone else.

Obstacles are opportunities: You’ve hit a bump, or several, that are merely detours to your final success; know that hope is not a plan, you need to act, not just react.

Stay the course: Keep your eyes on your goals and don’t let feat, self -doubt or imposter syndrome drag you down.

Get a FREE copy of my Bumper Stickers For the Brain Book Full of Sayings that Will Inspire You

Just click on the button below and get your copy today

Click Here for Instant Access!

Growth, Gutsy, Managing Stress, Stress, Success

How to Get Out of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome” That Leads to Overwhelm

Sylvia Lafair
September 3, 2019

Have you found yourself stuck and wanting to get out of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome”? Let me share a quick story with you…

Donna was exhausted, David was frustrated, Dan was angry, and Dolores was disappointed.

No one was energized, relaxed, happy, or satisfied. Overwhelm had them ready to throw in the towel, quit their jobs, and find a place deep in the woods to put up a sign, “No Visitors!”

Each had a story of being:

Buried under a mass of deadlines
Trapped by a long to-do list
Labeled as over-demanding
Judged as obsessive
Distracted in relationships
Burnt out pleasing others

Does any of this sound like you?

In our world of Gotta- Do are you falling under the curse of too much work, not enough time, not enough resources, not enough energy, not enough ideas, not enough money, not enough talent, just plain not enough.

Do you find yourself freaking out, concerned you will disappoint people who expect so much from you? Are you afraid you will be seen as useless if you are not at the top of your game all the time? Worried that you will lose your mojo and not ever again be able to perform at your peak?

Look, all of this is true in our world that seems to move faster than the speed of light

And yet, you know you can do great things when you are energized and focused. However, when the fear at the core of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome” causes overwhelm, everything starts to fall apart.

Overwhelm leads to lowered physical health, lessened mental health, lousy relationships, and an overall depressed feeling about life, like “What am I doing all this for anyway?”

We’ve all been there and usually we blame him, her, them, the culture, the weather, the news media, ex-lovers, in-laws, our kids, the neighbor’s dog who never stops barking, the clients, the competitors, and certainly, please add to the list whatever you want,

However, these are just symptoms of the real problem. The real reason for the overwhelm is way deep down underneath the actual list of daily demands and upsets.

It has to do with your relationship to your relationships.

That’s right. It about YOU and YOUR WORLD VIEW.

It’s about finding the balance point between you and the words “YES” and “NO.”

You get to choose. Only you can decide what to decide. This is at the root of what we teach our busy, creative, successful clients. And if you don’t find the core causes for the overwhelm you will be just like that little hamster whose life is about incessant running on the same wheel day in and day out.

I have developed a whole plan to defeat overwhelm. However, just for now, let me offer one suggestion to ease the tension. I call it Breathe and Choose.

First, Breathe. Great, I heard you say, “I do that anyway.” Now, get a piece of paper. Using pen on paper (let the computer rest for a while) write down what needs to get done. Then you prioritize. Sounds easy. It’s not. At least, till you get used to making the deeper decisions about what really matters.

Let me give you an example from earlier in my life when I wished I really knew what mattered most and how to decide what to decide.

There was that day that I decided to go overtime with a client who needed me desperately (or so I thought) while my twelve-year-old daughter sat on the steps at school waiting for me as she watched all the other kids wave goodbye as they climbed into their homeward bound cars.

I figured my daughter would be fine. It was a sunny late afternoon and, hey, I had a job to do. And let me say, I figured she would understand that I was helping someone in need.

In saying “Yes” to my client I made a very big mistake. I can’t even remember my client’s name or what the issue was, all I know is I found a very unhappy little girl dangling her feet on the school steps who felt she had been put last and no amount of explaining how I was helping someone made a dent in the upset. Just a note here: this happened more than it should because I was trapped in Gotta-Do.

When I finally created The Prioritize Exercise life became much more manageable and yes, more fun. Here’s how it works. You write down what must be done in no real order, just write as fast as you can. Now go back and add all the things you want to do.

Then it’s ‘yes’ to keep and ‘no’ to gotta go.

It’s a similar exercise to what author Marie Kondo writes about in her book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” She has made a major impact on people organizing their homes.

I’m talking about how to organize your mind. It’s not that different. You need to clear out all the thoughts and demands that have been sitting in your mind creating so much clutter. Yes, simplify your home, your office, and now your mind.

Stop renting space in your brain to others who make demands on you.

Remember, it’s up to you to say keep it or give it to Goodwill when you clear out your possessions, now do the same with your brain. You oversee saying YES or NO. It’s your life, your brain, your choice.

This is the beginning of our specific process of throwing overwhelm to the curb. Once you get to the root cause of your personal overwhelm it begins to dissipate. Our clients say it’s kinda like magic.

Want more ideas? Set up a strategy session. Say YES, so we can help you find the perfect balance for your specific situation.

👉Click here to set up a strategy session: https://www.ceoptions.com/apply/

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sylvia

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Gutsy, Leadership Styles, Managing Stress

How do you stay calm, cool, and collected?

Sylvia Lafair
July 30, 2019

When the heat index goes way into the red zone how do you stay calm, cool, and collected?

Here is a composite of the types of emails I have been getting the past month, mostly from the east coast of the U.S. and from much of Europe.

It goes something like this:

“It’s too hot to think. It’s too hot to talk. It’s too hot for anything except sitting in an air-conditioned room and checking Facebook. Can’t even concentrate to watch my favorite rerun of Suits.”

And then there are many who write: “The planet is in real trouble and we are not doing enough. We have done ourselves in and maybe the only place to go is to Mars. What about the little ones who will inhabit a flat, hot, and maybe even unlivable piece of real estate.”

The big ‘ask’ has been “What do we do during these times of stress that are certainly not in our personal realm to change. Can’t change the murky, miserable weather, can’t single-handedly stop the polar ice caps from melting, and refusing plastic straws in a restaurant feels like a helpful, yet meaningless act.”

The weather will change (and maybe end up too cold with tons of snow) and there will still be those who complain about the cold and those who will wring their hands and talk about climate change.

I was thinking about the bridge that needs to be considered between these two perspectives and I flashed to a time when we had invited the esteemed Ram Dass to teach at Creative Energy Options many years ago.

He was asked a variation of the question: “What do you do when everything seems to be falling apart. When it seems like Armageddon is around the corner.”

His answer has stayed with me all these years and it is so relevant during these hot, steamy, combative, and confusing times we are living through. I give you his words here, and if you don’t know who Ram Dass is, please look him up and when the weather cools a bit read his classic book Be Here Now or his newest Changing Lenses.

What Ram Dass said was that if Armageddon is arriving you need to “center yourself, breathe deeply, acknowledge what is happening, and …. Read this in his own words,

“I’ve been asked many times if this is the Aquarian age and it’s all just beginning or is this Armageddon and it’s the end, and I have to admit I don’t know.

The way I’ve usually copped out in dealing with this is saying, “Whichever way it goes, my work is the same: to quiet the mind and open my heart and relieve suffering wherever I find it.”

The more I do inner work, the more my awareness breaks down the boundaries between myself and other people, and the more that happens, the more there’s only “us” instead of “them.” And then the more there’s only “us,” the more the suffering of everyone, and the joy of everyone, becomes my suffering and my joy.”

For everyone living where it is too hot, and those living where it will be too cold and for all of us living with the threats of floods and fires and winds that blow too strongly, now is the time, as Ram Dass suggests, to do the inner work, confront personal history, and make decisions based on your inner wisdom rather than your inner critic.

That is the core of my new 8- week program specifically for GUTSY WOMEN LEADERS who want to kick overwhelm to the curb.

Please consider joining my Facebook group, Women Leaders Inner Circle where there will be lots of tips as well as more information about the soon to be released GUTSY program.

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