Stress Archives | Page 3 of 4

Handle Stress Under Pressure

Sylvia Lafair
April 8, 2020
handling stress, Stress, stress under pressure

Hi everybody!

So, gala fair here, and I have a few tips about handling stress. Every call I get, every email I get, every text I get has something about stress, overwhelmed stress. How to handle stress, hating stress and then I’ll ask this question, are you in distress or you stress? And they think of not. What in heaven’s name is your stress? Whether your stress is actually a good word, and your stress is I’m going to tell the exact definition is moderate or normal psychological stress, seen as being beneficial to the experience. Sounds good to me.

So, that’s being in the safe stress zone. We move out of overkill and yelling and screaming to hiding in under the bed or in a closet or wherever you can. So that you don’t have to handle stress. So, we’re going to work with that safe stress zone. It’s like, when you’re running and you get into the zone. It’s the same thing with stress, and you can do it, and now is the time to practice as best you can.

So, I’m getting as many tools and techniques as I can to help you with this, and obviously, using them myself. So, one that I have used and then I sort of forgot about, but I’m back with is the Pomodoro method and Francisco cruelly, oh developed this. And he must love pasta and pasta sauce, because there’s even a clock that he’s developed that looks like a tomato.

So, you can use that. You can use your phone. You can use whatever you can, but here’s what the suggestion is, and it’s a good one, and I’ve worked with it, and it really makes a difference. You set the clock, the timer. So that you work for 25 minutes. 25 minutes and then you take a break. Five-minute break. 10-minute break, whatever it is, and then you come back, and you work for 25 minutes, and in that way your mind can stay clear, because most of us are very much involved with our computers, and so many of us are working from home these days, and those of us who have been downsized or kind of put on hold for a while. The computer is a really, a good place for you to research and learn new things.

So, moving from distress to you stress, you stress. We need stress. It keeps us standing up or else we flop on the floor, and we couldn’t even walk around. So, it’s not you stress. It’s EU. It’s good stress, okay? Got that one. So, the Pomodoro method, look it up. It’s P-om-o-do-ro, and you can, I’m sure get one of the cute little tomato clocks, if you would like. If not, use whatever you have. So, I have one more, and it’s interesting, and I’ve been touting this for a long time, and these are actually reminders for me too. And it’s really about drinking water. It’s very interesting, and here’s the research from the University of East London, indicates this is important that water is the original athletic drink, and check in with any Olympian. And they will tell you, they drink a lot of water, a lot of water.

So, here’s what it says. It says that once thirst is relieved, the brain is left to focus on the task at hand, and even if you’re not conscious, you’re thirsty. Take a good swig, two, three, four. So, those are my tips for today, and I will be having my masterclass on limiting stress, and how to work with stress, and how to stay in that safe stress zone. So that you can continue going without really destroying any relationships or being upset with yourself or either being too mad or running away from a situation.

Have a productive day! We’re here for you and our coaches are ready to talk, if you like. So, contact me. I’m here for you too. We’re all in this together, and remember, no one wins unless we all do. So, we’re beginning to create a new kind of collective energy around all this.

So, have a positive day and have some, you stress no distress. Thanks so much.

See you soon.

Change, Growth, Managing Stress, Stress, Success

How to Move Out of Fear

Sylvia Lafair
April 7, 2020

I am getting the same questions over and over with the same request. “Hey, Dr. Sylvia, what advice do you have to move out of the fear that is rampant these days.”

Comments are so similar. From ones about wasting time to ones about poor sleep or gorging on junk food or drinking too much. Others are about arguing over anything no matter how trivial, to emotional distancing in relationships.

They all seem to boil down to looking fear in the eye and deciding what to do next.

Here is my response after some deep dives into my own pattern of facing fear over the years.

To all who read this: fear is like a family member who lingers too long, who sucks your energy, who can only live (kinda like a virus) with you as the host.

Fear makes us freeze at the sound of a sneeze
Fear makes us hoard toilet paper just in case.
Fear makes us stay glued to our phones to know what is going on.
Fear makes us binge on food, drink, Netflix.
Fear makes us discount anyone who disagrees with us.
Fear makes us feel alone, even when others are within reach.
Fear makes us feel guilty about not caring enough when others are worse off.
Fear makes us judge, blame, and attack so we can feel strong.

You can add to this list from your own experiences.

Here is what happens when you finally tell fear to take a hike. When you can say “Enough, get out, you are no longer welcome here. You are boring because your stories are all the same.”

When you can do a pattern interrupt.

What happens next?

We start to move.
We move our bodies by taking walks, doing yoga, or jogging in place
We move our minds by reading, yes reading books that have been gathering dust.
We move our emotions by reaching out to family, friends, neighbors.
We move our desire to always be right by checking for facts.
We move away from the refrigerator knowing we’re not all that hungry.
We move into times of silence, just because it feels good.
We move to show compassion to those who are held down by limiting beliefs.
We move to find new skills that were dormant inside of us.
We move to ask for help when we forget to move.

And here is what happens then:

We step out of the box.
We step into possibilities we never thought existed.
We being to live and love and care and dance and sing in ways that never seemed possible.

And what happens then?

We grow. We grow. We grow.

And, after the fear loses its power and all the efforts to move take hold, what happens then?

We finally can make a difference in ways that amaze and satisfy.

Keep going and keep growing.

Managing Stress, Stress

How to Handle Stress in Difficult Times

Sylvia Lafair
April 3, 2020
how to handle stress, managing stress, Stress, stress management

Hi everyone!

Well, here we are at home and I’ve been doing a survey, and the survey has been asking how people are coping and looking at coping mechanisms, and it’s been very interesting because they fall into kind of specific categories.

Some are into the eating and binge eating, and for me, it’s chocolate and even ice cream, and I remember as a kid, when I would be in a bad mood, my mother would say, “Oh, sit down and have some chocolate, ice cream and you’ll feel better.” So, even now, when I’m in whatever state, I’m in my mind says, “Chocolate, ice cream will make you feel better, and a hot fudge sundae will make you feel even better,” and they saw other side of that, is I don’t think so.

A little too much of anything going to the extreme is toxic. The latest I heard is, people bringing on Tiger King, the Netflix series and wondering what’s next after that, and so people are doing what they need to do, and it’s about finding comfort and safety.

I’m really feeling pretty good about yourself in that way, except it’s short term. It’s not long lasting. So, coping often leads to indulging and indulging is not a good thing.

So, the question is, how do we counteract indulging? Well, I’d like to tell a little story that comes from the Cherokee to Cherokee legend, and it’s the story as when kids were little, they would sit with the grandfather or the tribal elder, and they would ask, how do we know? What’s good and what’s not good? And the response would be, there are two wolves and they’re always fighting, and one wolf is the wolf of darkness, and despair. The other wolf is the one of light and hope.So, the kids would say, “Which one wins?” And the grandfather, the elder would say, “The one you feed.”

So, I’d like you to think about that as we go through the next days and weeks and perhaps months, that we are all sharing together right now.

Here’s the thing, what do we feed physically? What do we feed emotionally? What do we feed mentally? And I said, I would today have two emotional exercises to give you some emotional strength. You know, we always feel better when we’re doing something, and we learn it, and we can feel it easily in us. So, that we can do better. So, here are the two exercises: One, is the 77077 exercise. Now, everybody can remember the numbers up to seven, and it’s a breathing exercise and it helps you get more oxygen in your system, and will calm you down.

So, before you say something you might regret, you can do this anywhere. Just go into a quiet place. Go into the the bathroom, and if you need to lock the door, seven, seven, seven, seven, and here’s how it goes:

You breathe in to the count of seven through your nose. Breathe in, hold to the count of seven. Breathe out through your mouth to the count of seven, and then, what we say is, hold empty to the count of seven, seven times and use your fingers to remember it. So, one full section is breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold, and after you’ve done that seven times, I promise you, when you open your eyes and look around, things will begin to look brighter because you’ve put more oxygen in your body. You’ve also taken a pause, which is really important.

So, do that whenever you’re in a place of saying, “I’m going to say something that I might regret. Remember the two wolves. One is about, let me get the exact words I had written down about this, because I’m writing about this
– where is it? One wolf is about anger, and resentment, and intimidation, and upset, and fear, and the other wolf is about empathy, and caring, and creativity, and planning. So, think about it. Which wolf do you want to feed?

So, exercise number one, will give you the space to make the decision. Now, the next exercise is ten seconds, and you do it every hour. Ten seconds, can you take ten seconds out of an hour? It’s out of sixty minutes. Ten seconds and here’s what you do in ten seconds. I would set something on your computer, or your phone, or if you’re still wearing a watch these days, on your watch, ten seconds. Whatever you’re doing, stop and look at something. Look at something. Look at here. I have a some interesting scissors that I keep here. If I have to cut through a piece of paper but you just sit, and you look at it. Look at it. Pay attention to it. Look at the creativity that went into making it.Whatever it is that you have, just look at it. That’s all you have to do. Take something different each hour. Look at a pen, if you still have pens. Everybody still has a pen. Look at, you know, I have it here because I’m going to ask for a walk after this. A pair of sunglasses and look it’s Paris. Unless it has one of my peace of mind, arrow on it. Oh well, look at it. Just look at it. Look at the creativity. Look at the design. Think of the people who put these things together. That’s all you have to do.

Those are two important exercises. They will begin to feed. Next week, I’m going to talk about the survival brain and the creative brain, and it’s information that I think is really valuable. You can use it at work. You can use it at home, but first you have to start and use it for yourself. Now, I know we’re going through tough times or maybe it’s complex times, and we’re going into an area that seems unknown. So, taking those breaths and stopping to just put your mind on something very specific. If you’d like to meditate, do that. That’s great, but if that’s too much for you, where you get to get drowsy from it, do the ten-second. I call it a 10-second meditation, and do it as many hours as you possibly can.

So, ’til next time and anybody, if you want to call or email me or text me, let me know how you’re doing and we will get through this together. Thank you so much.

Business, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Managing Stress, Stress

What are your usual coping mechanisms?

Sylvia Lafair
April 1, 2020

I did a survey asking the following question: What are your usual coping mechanisms?

Take a minute and answer it for yourself.

The responses I received went from “Eating junk food” to “Playing games online” to “Binge-watching “Tiger King” to “Mixing a batch of martinis” and on and on.

Most responses were about indulging in one way or another. Indulge means to participate in an activity that is undesirable or disapproved of and doing it much too often.

I hear you saying “Just zip it and no preaching, please. Not now. Not when I must adjust to life changes that I didn’t choose. I just want some comfort. Is that so bad?”

Nope, not bad at all.

Although, maybe, just maybe, there are more positive ways to spend your time.

We retreat to indulgences when we feel threatened and want to run to a safe, familiar place for our own survival.

That brings me to a Cherokee legend that we all need to think about. You see, when crises and change are upon us, we have choices.

There are two wolves and they are always fighting.

One is darkness and despair, the other light and hope.

Which one wins?

The one you feed!

Listen closely and you can hear LIFE requesting you to use the reset button. Right here and right now. Requesting you think differently, change your habits. Stop indulging.

Here’s a way to think about which wolf you are feeding right here and right now and what you can do differently.

There is the survival brain. And there is the creative brain.

The survival brain is vital for safety. Its goal is to keep you out of harm’s way. It is in the brain stem and the limbic system. A Key player is the amygdala (what I have named Amy Hijack). It’s responsible for detecting fear and preparing for emergency events. It then sends a message of “danger here” to the hypothalamus to trigger a fight or flight response.

The emotions in the survival brain include anxiety, anger, disappointment, shame, revenge, regret, and blame.

Many of us live there most of the time.

The creative brain is in the frontal cortex, hippocampus, basal ganglia and white matter.

The emotions here include curiosity, peacefulness, empathy, joy, calmness, ability to plan, joy and gratitude.

OKAY.

Which area of the brain do you want to feed?

Donald Hebb, a Canadian neuropsychologist said it best. Known as Hebb’s law: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” And that means, with enough repetitions, your thoughts and behaviors become ingrained patterns.

Now, that’s a game-changer.

What does this mean to you? Yes, you. You going through changing times that require you to adapt and adjust?

It means in a short sentence, “The more we move away from fear and defeat and move toward curiosity and exploration, the more we feed the creative brain.”

Which part of your brain do you want to feed right now?

Keep an eye out for my brand new masterclass “How to Practice Safe Stress During Times of Distress” and learn the mental/emotional exercises to feed the part of your brain that will support better health and more success.

Stress

How to Practice SAFE STRESS

Sylvia Lafair
March 27, 2020
safe stress, Stress

Hi everyone!

Question, anybody feeling stressed these days? Lots of stress? Little stress? Well, I’m here to give you another way to look at stress. It’s called practice safe stress. It’s good for you. It’s good for me. It’s good for the planet. It’s good for everyone.

So, here’s how it goes: There are two extremes when it comes to being upset and angry and filled with stress and if you can picture stress like a pitcher, and you fill it with stress. Fill it, fill it, fill it, and it gets to the top, but you still have the anger, upset, annoyance. You still have this stress and you put one more drop and it spills over and that’s when it starts to get kind of murky and muddy and annoying to people, but here’s what I want you to look at, the two extremes. I call it ‘freakoutville’ and ‘zombieville.’

So, see which category you fit in, the ‘freakoutville’ people are those who are ‘drama queens and kings’ and believe me there are plenty of drama kings out there, as well as drama queens. There are. So, that’s part of ‘freakoutville’ is the drama. Another one is the ‘bully persecutor’. This person who points their finger and always blames you for everything and they can get really loud and annoying when they are upset. Another one is the ‘rebel’ and they’re always wanting to fight this system and they will not compromise and nothing will work until they really get hurt and looked at, and the fourth one is this: ‘superachiever,’ the me, me, me, guy or gal who has to be first, has to be heard, will push themselves to the front and center and say, ‘this is, this is me. I have all
the answers on the good one.’

So, those are the ones that live in ‘freakoutville’ and when stress gets high, you hear them they make a lot noise.

Full disclosure, I have to admit, I’ve had to work on the drama queen part of my personality. For a long time, the other side, the other extreme that’s ‘zombieville’ and in ‘zombie,’ they’ll live the ‘procrastinators’ who never can get anything done. They’re always saying, ‘tomorrow, tomorrow, I’m late, it’ll be in time,’ but they don’t want to be judged. So, they hold back and they get really quiet. So, ‘zombieville procrastinators.’ Another one is, the ‘avoider’ and they hate conflict and they’re the going to go, guy or gal, and man. They are out of there as fast as they can, be never to be seen again.

Another one is the ‘denier,’ who goes what problem will find a miracle cure for everything, will do everything. There is no problem . Problem: ‘Don’t tell me, because I can’t see it. I see things through rose-colored glasses,’ and the fourth one is, the ‘pleaser.’ ‘Pleaser’ who says yes to everything. They want to say ‘no,’ but they stuff it and very quietly they say, ‘sure, yes, fine, I’ll do it.’

So, what do you do with these two extremes? Well, you have to figure out first where do you fit in this. Are you in ‘freakoutville’ or you in ‘zombieville?’ We all fit into one of those categories, and the idea is to move into the center to the safe stress zone, where we can practice safe stress and these days are really fabulous.

Well, I don’t know if fabulous is the right word, but these days are really important days to practice staying centered, and I have some techniques that I’d like to give you, in terms of getting out of the pattern, that you used to use to move into that safe stress zone.

So, I’m just going to give you a couple and then I will be having a webinar that is going to be strictly on how to handle stress in the next few days, and I’ll let you know when that be. What I want you to know right now is, there a couple of basic things you can do, and one of them is, really kind of interesting. It’s a simple exercise.

Pay attention to it when you’re in that place, and you can feel the mat coming on. Do this, raise your shoulders to your ears and drop them and do it this way, when you raise them, you breathe in and when you drop them, you breathe out. So, it’s breathe in, breathe out and do it. I don’t know, six, eight, ten times and then stop, and ask yourself, ‘what do I want as an outcome of whatever you’re upset about. Be it at home, or at work.

In the community, there’s a lot of stuff that people are struggling with right now, and this is really a simple, simple way but use your body. Your body will be able to help you. So, that’s one of the things I’d like you to do.

Another one is, to really look. Look, see what the pattern is and begin to look. All these patterns are
transformable and that’s what I’m going to be talking about in the webinar.

So, I’m just going to give you one, because it’s got my name on it, that ‘drama queen.’ When I realized that I would like what I didn’t like to. I did create a lot of annoyance for people. When I was upset, I pound my hand on the table or I would make nasty comments to be heard. I wanted to be heard and I had to learn to transform that.

What did I transform into? I became a pretty good storyteller. Think of it this way, when you have drama, it raises the adrenaline and it actually feels good in the moment. Afterwards, you’ve got a lot of clean up to do, but in the moment, it feels good. And then, when I learn to be a storyteller, I can use the same adrenalin. I can tell good stories. I can get that kind of feverish rush of flavor to what I want to say, but it has a purpose.

So, we’re going to look at these extremes. Do you live in ‘freakoutville?’ Do you live in ‘zombieVille? We’re going to get you to the safe stress zone.

Thank you so much.Talk to you soon. Have as best a day as you possibly can and keep thinking about how we can all help each other and make this world a better place for all of us.

Thank you so much.

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Managing Stress, Stress

7 Ways to “Practice Safe Stress” during times of confusion and chaos

Sylvia Lafair
March 25, 2020

What do you do when others are driving you nuts? When you can’t seem to catch your breath because so much is being asked of you? When you must change your schedule to please others who claim to need you ‘right now’?

Do you go on the attack and say whatever comes to mind to get back at the offenders?

Or do you slide away quietly and go into hibernation, hoping that by ignoring the situation, you will be ok?

Guess what?

Attacking or retreating leads to the same place. More aggravation.

Either way, you lose!

Using these typical methods to handle stress won’t solve the problem.

Okay, you want to know what will solve the problem?

Do you want to learn how to practice safe stress?

Here are some ideas to help you gain control when you begin to wobble while responding to others.

FIRST: Where do your emotions reside? In Freakoutville or Zombieville?

FREAKOUTVILLE is filled with:

Drama kings and queens who take up all the space with their rantings
Rebels who are never willing to compromise
Superachievers who push everyone aside, so they are always first
Bully persecutors who put others down to feel good about themselves

ZOMBIEVILLE is filled with:

Procrastinators who make excuses so they cannot be held accountable
Avoiders who run in the other direction to avoid conflict
Deniers who pretend that all is fine and won’t look at difficulties
Pleasers who say yes to be liked and pretend they are happy to help

What is your primary pattern of responding?

Once you can pinpoint your typical way of responding you can learn to “reverse the curse” of getting your buttons pushed and falling victim to your own worn out, repetitive ways of responding.

Yes, it is a curse to keep getting caught in outdated, ineffective ways of behaving.

Only YOU can make the changes to get out of Freakoutville or Zombieville and get into the SAFE STRESS ZONE.

Here’s how:

1. Think like a computer: Unbridled emotions can limit confidence, communication, and creativity (the 3 C’s of success). Be like a computer and press the delete button once you see you are in the extremes of either Freakoutville or Zombieville.
2. See the pattern as AAP: It’s just ‘Another Annoying Pattern’ brought to you from the depths of your nervous system meant to keep you safe and secure when you were a kid and no longer needed.
3. Don’t feed the weed: When you pull young weeds from the garden it is super easy to get rid of them. If you feed the weeds, they will grow deep roots and you must tug and tug to get them out.
4. Stop the avalanche: Snowballs are fun to throw until they become so large you no longer have control. Maybe make a snowman and put a sock over its mouth.

Once is NOT enough: Staying in either extreme of overreacting or underreacting will continue to pop up, like pimples on a teenage face. So, keep clearing your thoughts and please don’t pick at the scabs.

Stand and be counted: Good posture helps diminish stress. Not only do you look better, but you also breathe better, and more oxygen in your body makes for a better mood. Stand, smile (even if you need to fake it at first) and in a few minutes the anger will subside.

Shrug IT OFF: Bring your shoulders to your ears and then let them drop. Do this rapidly. Inhale while you raise your shoulders and exhale when you lower. Think “Is this worth fighting or hiding” and just shrug it off as you walk into the safe stress zone to communicate effectively.

Practicing SAFE STRESS comes from being able, to tell the truth, stand for what is right, and learning how to say no without having to defend, explain or justify. You learn to be heard, accepted and appreciated.

Even better, you save your energy for what is fun and creative rather than staying stuck in anger.

Safe stress is good for you, it’s good for the world.

Leadership, Managing Stress, Stress

How Great Leaders Tackle Anxiety and Overwhelm

Sylvia Lafair
March 12, 2020
anxiety, Leadership, overwhelm

So many people these days are asking me what do we do with the anxiety.

I’m feeling stuff I haven’t created. It’s out there, but I’ve got to handle it and we all all of us really need to know how to handle it. So, think about this, you’re taking a walk in the woods and in the distance, you see something that looks a little squirrely out there. Not a squirrel and you say to yourself, “is that a snake?” or a stick and what? Do you start to back off until you look and you say, “is it moving? Isn’t it moving?” and finally you get whew. It’s a stick and you keep going and kind of toss it into the underbrush. So, nobody else will be bothered with it. So, why do we get feel it was a stick? Why do we get so nervous? Well, we have all of the survival skills that have been handed to us for thousands of years to keep us alive, to protect us.

They’re good. We need them but sometimes they get out of control, and we become so afraid of everything that we don’t know. How to work, walk, live, breathe, be with each other and right now, with stress really at a high level as leaders or emerging leaders. It’s really important to know what to do.

So, one of the things I want you to get is what happens in the brain. Our brains are programmed to really go toward reward and away from punishment. Toward what’s good and away from what we think is bad. Think about, if it were a snake and we’re afraid, we would back off. It’s a stick, no big deal. Okay, think about that and what we do when we get a reward is, we’re rewarded. Our brain gives us extra dopamine and I don’t want to go into a major scientific understanding of this, but I really want you to get that when we have promotions, when have successes and we feel good. Our brain is saying, all right let’s give him or her something really good to work with and we get some extra goodies in our bodies and we feel good about it and that’s where it’s good.

Now, the other part of this is when we are faced with something that is frightening or difficult or creates anxiety in us. How do we handle it? Well, here’s my theory and it’s a lot of researchers going into this and I’ve worked with thousands of people who have come back and said, “you know, when I saw the snake, not the stick, this is how I handled it” and I want you to think about this: it’s about adapting to the moment, taking a deep breath and thinking to yourself, this too shall pass because things do pass. Change is the way of the world and think about one of the great leaders during a difficult time in the history in America, was Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and remember his famous saying: the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

So, when you’re in a difficult situation, when things aren’t going your way, when you have to cancel a meeting, when you have to not be presented with an award because nobody can show up at the time, what do you do? You take a deep breath. You say to yourself, “and this shall pass.” That will give the brain a little bit of room to say, “well if it’ll pass, maybe I can show up and give her some dopamine and make her feel better,” but do something at home by yourself. Close the door and we know that what we do feels better when we dance a little bit, sing a little bit, look at beautiful things. So, take the time during these stressful times to handle your anxiety by doing something that is going to give you some of that dopamine and make you feel better. So that, then you can say to people the only thing we have to fear is fear itself and help people move on.

Have a blessed day and here’s to your success.

Thank you so much.

Growth, Gutsy, Managing Stress, Patterns, Stress, Success

How to get yourself out of overwhelm

Sylvia Lafair
December 11, 2019

How to get yourself out of overwhelm seems to be a recurring theme right now. One of my clients put it this way “I came home from work and kicked the dog.”

Then, at least 7 other clients texted me this week with concerns that were variations on the ‘kick the dog’ theme. They were all about the conundrum (what a funny word), the confusing and difficult problem that seems to be number 1 right now.

Here’s what Jen wrote, “Hey Sylvia, I had a rotten day at work. Nothing seemed to jell. My report was shot down by my boss, my favorite co-worker is out for 6 weeks with a broken leg from a crazy accident, and I had to cancel a business trip to my favorite city (I was going to stay for an extra day and just wander around Paris). Then I got home, and the dog peed on the new carpet, my kid has a test end of the week and he has no idea what the teacher is talking about, and my husband is out of town all week.

I must say, I was rather nasty and yelled at my kid, the dog, and my husband all within about 10 minutes.

The big question is: why don’t problems stay in their own little boxes?

The ones from work seem to bleed into family time and the annoyances from family seem to spill out at work.

I can’t compartmentalize!!!!!

Is this a woman thing? Or does it happen to men too?

So, help, please.”

The other 6 texts were from both men and women. So, yes, both males and females are having a hard time getting out of the overwhelm of too much to do, not doing it right, and getting angry at everyone at once.

Can this problem be solved?

Yes.

While disappointment and frustration won’t go away (so sorry about that), what can be done is to get yourself out of the overwhelm and find your own personal way of not letting your emotions get the best of you.

Let’s start with 3 questions:

Are you aware of what pushes your buttons at work? At home?
Can you recover quickly when you get triggered, upset, or stressed?
Have you done personal work to stop the mad or sad feelings from spilling over?

My point to all my clients, from Corporate CEO’s to Entrepreneurs is this: Your upsets will bleed from family to work and vice versa, unless and until you put the flashlight on YOU, and figure out how to express what you are feeling in ways that don’t disrupt or destroy relationships.

If you, like so many these days, are emotionally exhausted and are getting ready to ‘kick the dog’ it’s time to do something in real-time.

If you are failing to meet deadlines, feel hopeless or helpless, have decreased motivation, feel stuck and trapped then make a move in a new direction.

Help is here.

I suggest you do a pattern breakthrough strategy call (its free) to get some clear direction CLICK HERE to schedule yours.

Think of it this way. If you don’t do something now, you will come home from work, day after day and kick the dog. You will never know how to get yourself out of overwhelm. It will become a habit for emotional release. The habit becomes a pattern. Then if the dog is not there whoever is closest will get the brunt of your upset.

Not good.

Yet, if you fix the problem of how to get yourself out of overwhelm and you handle getting triggered, you will oversee what happens next. You’ll be in charge, not at the mercy of your emotions.

Don’t let the months and years go by without finding a new way out of upset and not knowing how to get yourself out of overwhelm.

You don’t want to look back with regret. Do you? Book your pattern breakthrough call.

Managing Stress, Stress

Practice Safe Stress

Sylvia Lafair
September 29, 2019
coping with stress, managing stress, safe stress, Stress

Calling all ambitious, motivated female leaders to let go of overwhelm and learn SAFE STRESS.

+ Learn the technique of Safe Stress (that unique area between the extremes of exhaustion and not giving a damn).

+ Find the best way for you to stop burnout before it stops you.

+ Practice the specific communication that can keep you from over-giving and under-getting.

+ The Safe Stress zone is where health and well-being reside. It’s where you want to be.

Watch this video for the most effective ways to stay in the zone and thrive physically, mentally, and emotionally.

👉Leave a comment or PM me if you have questions or want more info on how to get yourself out of overwhelm and into the Safe Stress Zone.

Confidence, Growth, Managing Stress, Stress, Success

5 Sayings That Will Inspire You Even When You Feel Overwhelmed and Frustrated

Sylvia Lafair
September 25, 2019

I want to share a story from one of my coaching clients that I’m sure will resonate with you if you’ve ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated…

One of my coaching clients sent the following, “I had a fender bender on the way to work. Then, because I was late and rushing, I tripped going on the up escalator. (Who the heck ever trips on a UP escalator?). Then, I spilled coffee on my new shirt.

They say bad things come in 3’s.

It’s not true. Bad things can be like an avalanche and keep happening. I will tell you what happened later after I ask for some HELP. Yes, I really need some help to quash the loud, unforgiving voice in my head saying, “You really are a total jerk.”

My self-doubt has me glued to my office chair. I’m afraid to get up for fear that I will start the next wave of 3 more terrible things happening to prove what a jerk I really am.

What I need is a way to turn off the noise in my head and get some work done. So, please give me something to smile about.

That said, back to my bad luck day.

My assistant stood at the doorway of my office with a look of “How can I tell him this?”

The “this” was that one of our best clients is taking business elsewhere. AND, informed us in a very sanitized email with little explanation.

At that point, I thought I should poke a pen in my eye.

That would be “bad thing 5” and then maybe be proactive and cancel my massage (where I figured I would get my back out of whack) to stave off “bad thing 6” when I got a message that my massage was canceled.

Now I must worry about what next awful thing will happen.

What do you suggest when a bad day is really, really, a bad day?

Here is my response.

When stress is high, and energy is low you need some of my Bumper Stickers For The Brain. You gotta remember the following:

Change is constant: Become like a flowing river by constantly adapting and improvising and keep moving.

Victims become victors: Find at least three options to each situation by asking yourself what else you can do to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Winners never whine: Winning is an attitude that includes grace under pressure to not judge, blame or attack yourself or anyone else.

Obstacles are opportunities: You’ve hit a bump, or several, that are merely detours to your final success; know that hope is not a plan, you need to act, not just react.

Stay the course: Keep your eyes on your goals and don’t let feat, self -doubt or imposter syndrome drag you down.

Get a FREE copy of my Bumper Stickers For the Brain Book Full of Sayings that Will Inspire You

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