Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

How Fonzi (from Happy Days) Gave Important Clues to Leadership Success

Sylvia Lafair
October 8, 2019
Leadership, Leadership Success

How Fonzi (yup from Happy Days) gave me important clues to leadership success that applies to all of us:

+ Lead with your imagination (it’s not what you think)

+Follow with determination (it’s more than you think)

+ Listen to suggestions (it’s a game changer)

+Collaborate (it’s the royal road to success)

Here is some great advice so you can stand out from the pack and make your mark on the world. Isn’t that what you are here for? To make a difference? Then get to it!!!

👉Take the Leadership Quiz Here: https://www.ceoptions.com/leadership-style-breakthrough-behavior-quiz/

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Confidence, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

3 Key Ways to Win at Work

Sylvia Lafair
October 1, 2019

My work with individuals and groups over the years has helped me to uncover 3 key ways to win at work when you’re feeling frazzled and ready to throw in the towel.

Have you found that at one time or another you wanted to stuff a sock in someone’s mouth rather than listen to them wail or rail?

Think about the gal on your team that never stops complaining, or the big shot who is always bragging, or the bully who steamrolls over others with their point of view and never listens to others.

You go home exhausted from the tension and lack of cooperation.

“It’s just business,” you say to yourself with a shrug.

Hey there, pay attention. That’s just traditional wisdom playing with you.

And it’s simply NOT true.

There are businesses with great leaders who get along, have fun at work, enjoy solving challenges together, and make great profits.

You belong in that setting. Here’s what many leaders have done to create workplaces that work.

Let’s look at the three main ways of changing what’s not working, for you or those on your team (Hint for leaders: you need to start with yourself before you can be of help to others).

Here is the way OUT:

Observe your own behavior: If you have a problem and you solve it, that’s great. That’s what business is all about. However, if the same problem keeps showing up time after time, well then, you have a pattern to deal with.

Once you declare a problem to be repetitive, then you can make change happen.

Understand the root issues: Close the door or go sit in your car. No distractions. Write out what is keeping you stuck. Not a dissertation, just a short paragraph. Now, answer this question “When else did you have the same feelings of frustration and upset?”

Connect the dots from past upsets to the present problem. My bet is that you will see quickly how the past and present are related.

Transform by taking action: This is where you commit to change. Take an honest look at the part you play in the on-going situation (yes, you do play a role, so don’t try to wiggle out of this by pointing your finger at others). Changing behavior beyond a superficial way requires discipline, experimentation, and practice.

There are 13 major patterns that get in the way of positive relationships at work. You can find out which one/s have you name on them by taking the Leadership Quiz at www.ceoptions.com.

Take the quiz. It’s eye-opening.

Cause if you don’t, you’ll stay stuck in pattern repetition, like the guy in the movie Groundhog Day.

Once you learn to harness your own power by transforming the negative patterns into healthy ones you get amazing rewards. There is more honest communication, better relationships, optimized team collaboration, and greater financial success.

Become a pattern buster and watch your leadership abilities soar.

Confidence, Growth, Managing Stress, Stress, Success

5 Sayings That Will Inspire You Even When You Feel Overwhelmed and Frustrated

Sylvia Lafair
September 25, 2019

I want to share a story from one of my coaching clients that I’m sure will resonate with you if you’ve ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated…

One of my coaching clients sent the following, “I had a fender bender on the way to work. Then, because I was late and rushing, I tripped going on the up escalator. (Who the heck ever trips on a UP escalator?). Then, I spilled coffee on my new shirt.

They say bad things come in 3’s.

It’s not true. Bad things can be like an avalanche and keep happening. I will tell you what happened later after I ask for some HELP. Yes, I really need some help to quash the loud, unforgiving voice in my head saying, “You really are a total jerk.”

My self-doubt has me glued to my office chair. I’m afraid to get up for fear that I will start the next wave of 3 more terrible things happening to prove what a jerk I really am.

What I need is a way to turn off the noise in my head and get some work done. So, please give me something to smile about.

That said, back to my bad luck day.

My assistant stood at the doorway of my office with a look of “How can I tell him this?”

The “this” was that one of our best clients is taking business elsewhere. AND, informed us in a very sanitized email with little explanation.

At that point, I thought I should poke a pen in my eye.

That would be “bad thing 5” and then maybe be proactive and cancel my massage (where I figured I would get my back out of whack) to stave off “bad thing 6” when I got a message that my massage was canceled.

Now I must worry about what next awful thing will happen.

What do you suggest when a bad day is really, really, a bad day?

Here is my response.

When stress is high, and energy is low you need some of my Bumper Stickers For The Brain. You gotta remember the following:

Change is constant: Become like a flowing river by constantly adapting and improvising and keep moving.

Victims become victors: Find at least three options to each situation by asking yourself what else you can do to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Winners never whine: Winning is an attitude that includes grace under pressure to not judge, blame or attack yourself or anyone else.

Obstacles are opportunities: You’ve hit a bump, or several, that are merely detours to your final success; know that hope is not a plan, you need to act, not just react.

Stay the course: Keep your eyes on your goals and don’t let feat, self -doubt or imposter syndrome drag you down.

Get a FREE copy of my Bumper Stickers For the Brain Book Full of Sayings that Will Inspire You

Just click on the button below and get your copy today

Click Here for Instant Access!

Change, Confidence, Growth, Human Capital Management, Success

The Gratitude Intervention Challenge

Sylvia Lafair
September 18, 2019

When was the last time you practiced gratitude? This post is all about the power of gratitude and my invitation to join me on a gratitude intervention challenge.

“Yesterday was a soggy day, with non- stop rain and draining humidity” began an email I received with the subject title of “What a happy day.”

It didn’t make sense…

It was a long, detailed email about work difficulties and disappointments. Until the end. And then I thought, “OKAY, I get it now.”

I’ll skip all the complaints and go right to the punch line.

“So, Sylvia, I was standing at the bottom of the Macy’s escalator waiting for my husband who was taking forever to get a new pair of jeans. I was frustrated and miserable. I hated work, I hated me. As I leaned on the jewelry counter thinking every negative thing I could about me, my life, the state of the world, the amount of time I was wasting waiting here, when a kid walked over, he must have been about eleven years old.

His smile was infectious.

He leaned toward me and said ‘You really look great today. I mean, you really look great!’ And with that he did a perfect pivot and before I could even say ‘huh?’ he was gone.

My husband descended the escalator and greeted me with ‘Well, you sure look happy now. Did you buy something special?”

I was still processing that moment of unexpected appreciation and all I could muster was ‘Didn’t buy anything special. I was given something special.”

Here is my response to my client:

“I’m glad you are working through all the messy issues at work. And hooray for that mysterious little boy. He gave you, now, all of us, a precious gift.

I call this a GRATITUDE INTERVENTION CHALLENGE and I suggest we all lift our gratitude quotient by doing what that little boy did. Reach out and touch someone.

Give gratitude, acknowledgment, appreciation, thanks to someone who doesn’t expect it.

What will that do for you? What will that do for the other person? What will that do for our very contentious world that needs more positive, creative energy?

It will make you feel better and hopefully the other person also.

The Gratitude Intervention Challenge

Acknowledge someone who annoys you or you feel betrayed you at work. Maybe it’s someone who is the office gossip, or the bully who made you look stupid on purpose or, the over the top pleaser who stepped in with a smile to get the plum assignment meant for you.

Think about that person for a moment…They may:

See you as a threat
Be miserable inside themselves
Want to be your friend and feel inadequate
Have serious health issues
Be in relationship difficulties

Now, find something you can acknowledge them for.

Come one, you can find at least one thing. Then ask if they can meet for a few minutes and ask them where they would like to meet. Ask them, don’t tell them. Giving gratitude and learning to understand each other is at the core of great leadership.

I’d love to hear the results. Do what scares the crap out of you and strengthen your gratitude muscle.

Remember, the tiniest effort can have a huge impact.

We Will Never Forget Patriot Day Vintage Label Design. 9/11 Patr

Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Leadership Styles, Success

Where were you on 9/11?

Sylvia Lafair
September 11, 2019

As I was going to write about gratitude my mind went back to September 11, 2001, and I had to stop and just sit for a while and think back to that horrific day.

Where were you?

I was at The Country Place Retreat Center in Pa with four other people planning to start our very first Total Leadership Connections program at 5 pm with wine and appetizers, dinner, and the opening evening program.

That morning the 5 of us who were to facilitate were in the gathering room filled with last-minute ideas and details. Our wonderful maintenance man, Don, walked in, apologized for bothering us, and informed us in a quiet, almost reverent voice, “A plane just hit the World Trade Center in Manhattan.”

He had to repeat this several times before we could grasp what was being said.

We all ran to the TV never realizing what was in front of us as we watched the plane and smoke and fire and fear and…

The weather that day seemed to mock us. It was a magnificent early autumn day on the east coast, more like what we call Indian summer.

Of course, we could not start the program and told local staff to take home the food in the jam-packed refrigerator with food for 25 people for the next 4 days.

The five of us stayed together for comfort, no one wanting to be alone. The beauty of the day and the horror we would watch on television over and over of smoke and fire and falling buildings made us feel disconnected from reality. Yet, we needed the touch of human connections.

We stayed up late, addicted to the news. We wanted to hear and yet we wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.

The enormity of it all was impossible to grasp. However, it brought up old personal sudden painful incidents of the past: accidents, deaths, sudden decisions that were life-changing for each of us.

What did you think about?

Who were you with?

How did you cope?

Back to the idea of gratitude now, 18 years later.

In my work, I always suggest that each morning you take a few minutes and give gratitude for at least 3 people or situations in your life.

I want to give gratitude to the following:

To all the first responders who risked (and the many who lost) their lives to help in this hell-like situation.

To Jon Stewart, comedian and former host of The Daily Show, a 9/11 First Responders advocate, who went to Congress and in an emotional, angry speech shamed the lawmakers into reauthorizing the 9/11 victims fund.
To the people of Gander Newfoundland who played host to the world when 7000 travelers were stranded there after 9/11 and showed the dignity and decency of humans helping each other during a time of need.
BONUS: To Irene Sankoff and David Hein for writing a riveting and heartwarming musical about what happened in Gander in the aftermath of 9/11. If you have not seen Come From Away, go, yes go as soon as you can. It is an experience in what happens when the best of who we are shines through tragedy and ugliness. And take the kids who were not here yet or were too young to truly understand.

Please, please, get in the habit of waking up and giving gratitude to those who matter to you. The most glorious day can turn dark in the blink of an eye. And please remember this…

We are all connected, and no one wins unless we all do.

Growth, Gutsy, Managing Stress, Stress, Success

How to Get Out of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome” That Leads to Overwhelm

Sylvia Lafair
September 3, 2019

Have you found yourself stuck and wanting to get out of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome”? Let me share a quick story with you…

Donna was exhausted, David was frustrated, Dan was angry, and Dolores was disappointed.

No one was energized, relaxed, happy, or satisfied. Overwhelm had them ready to throw in the towel, quit their jobs, and find a place deep in the woods to put up a sign, “No Visitors!”

Each had a story of being:

Buried under a mass of deadlines
Trapped by a long to-do list
Labeled as over-demanding
Judged as obsessive
Distracted in relationships
Burnt out pleasing others

Does any of this sound like you?

In our world of Gotta- Do are you falling under the curse of too much work, not enough time, not enough resources, not enough energy, not enough ideas, not enough money, not enough talent, just plain not enough.

Do you find yourself freaking out, concerned you will disappoint people who expect so much from you? Are you afraid you will be seen as useless if you are not at the top of your game all the time? Worried that you will lose your mojo and not ever again be able to perform at your peak?

Look, all of this is true in our world that seems to move faster than the speed of light

And yet, you know you can do great things when you are energized and focused. However, when the fear at the core of the “Gotta- Do Syndrome” causes overwhelm, everything starts to fall apart.

Overwhelm leads to lowered physical health, lessened mental health, lousy relationships, and an overall depressed feeling about life, like “What am I doing all this for anyway?”

We’ve all been there and usually we blame him, her, them, the culture, the weather, the news media, ex-lovers, in-laws, our kids, the neighbor’s dog who never stops barking, the clients, the competitors, and certainly, please add to the list whatever you want,

However, these are just symptoms of the real problem. The real reason for the overwhelm is way deep down underneath the actual list of daily demands and upsets.

It has to do with your relationship to your relationships.

That’s right. It about YOU and YOUR WORLD VIEW.

It’s about finding the balance point between you and the words “YES” and “NO.”

You get to choose. Only you can decide what to decide. This is at the root of what we teach our busy, creative, successful clients. And if you don’t find the core causes for the overwhelm you will be just like that little hamster whose life is about incessant running on the same wheel day in and day out.

I have developed a whole plan to defeat overwhelm. However, just for now, let me offer one suggestion to ease the tension. I call it Breathe and Choose.

First, Breathe. Great, I heard you say, “I do that anyway.” Now, get a piece of paper. Using pen on paper (let the computer rest for a while) write down what needs to get done. Then you prioritize. Sounds easy. It’s not. At least, till you get used to making the deeper decisions about what really matters.

Let me give you an example from earlier in my life when I wished I really knew what mattered most and how to decide what to decide.

There was that day that I decided to go overtime with a client who needed me desperately (or so I thought) while my twelve-year-old daughter sat on the steps at school waiting for me as she watched all the other kids wave goodbye as they climbed into their homeward bound cars.

I figured my daughter would be fine. It was a sunny late afternoon and, hey, I had a job to do. And let me say, I figured she would understand that I was helping someone in need.

In saying “Yes” to my client I made a very big mistake. I can’t even remember my client’s name or what the issue was, all I know is I found a very unhappy little girl dangling her feet on the school steps who felt she had been put last and no amount of explaining how I was helping someone made a dent in the upset. Just a note here: this happened more than it should because I was trapped in Gotta-Do.

When I finally created The Prioritize Exercise life became much more manageable and yes, more fun. Here’s how it works. You write down what must be done in no real order, just write as fast as you can. Now go back and add all the things you want to do.

Then it’s ‘yes’ to keep and ‘no’ to gotta go.

It’s a similar exercise to what author Marie Kondo writes about in her book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” She has made a major impact on people organizing their homes.

I’m talking about how to organize your mind. It’s not that different. You need to clear out all the thoughts and demands that have been sitting in your mind creating so much clutter. Yes, simplify your home, your office, and now your mind.

Stop renting space in your brain to others who make demands on you.

Remember, it’s up to you to say keep it or give it to Goodwill when you clear out your possessions, now do the same with your brain. You oversee saying YES or NO. It’s your life, your brain, your choice.

This is the beginning of our specific process of throwing overwhelm to the curb. Once you get to the root cause of your personal overwhelm it begins to dissipate. Our clients say it’s kinda like magic.

Want more ideas? Set up a strategy session. Say YES, so we can help you find the perfect balance for your specific situation.

👉Click here to set up a strategy session: https://www.ceoptions.com/apply/

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sylvia

Change, Coaching, Confidence, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Leadership Styles, Success

Giving thanks can transform your life

Sylvia Lafair
August 20, 2019

Giving thanks can transform your life, so let me start by expressing some gratitude and share some bits of wisdom that can help you feel more gratitude and appreciation for all that you have in this post.

First, let me say “Thank You” to all of you who are part of my newsletter network.

Secondly, let me invite all the women here to join my Women Leaders Inner Circle Group on Facebook. It would mean a lot to me to have you as part of the membership there. (Sorry men, I will have more for you when the Total Leadership Connections Program goes on-line in the fall).

Thirdly, I would like to say how much I appreciate my Pattern Breakthrough Coaches who make a difference for so many. You can see who they are here.

Fourthly, I’d like to talk about the role of gratitude in our world of “stuff and nonsense.”

I recently did a Facebook Live where I talked about 3 mental/emotional strength training exercises to help you go from overwhelmed to energized.

Several people messaged me to say that they had forgotten how important it is to appreciate even the smallest things in life that seem so insignificant until that is, you really look at what matters.

That led me to remember what renowned Vietnamese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said many years ago at a meditation retreat I attended at the Plum Village Monastery in France. It is a big/small story about gratitude and the small/big stuff of life.

During the dark days of the Viet Nam War, there was little to appreciate.

Life was about just getting through, moment by moment.

Chang Kung, one of the Buddhist nuns came to Thay (which means teacher) and

expressed her weariness and despair at the pain and suffering she saw around her.

Thay suggested she give gratitude. Chan Khong was so overwhelmed and exhausted

she could not think of even one thing for which to be grateful.

Thay said to pay attention and something would reveal itself.

Later that day she was walking near a river wondering how much more she could do to

help the hurting and frightened people in the midst of war.

She looked down at the mud under her feet, wanting to be careful not to slip.

And then it happened.

Let me stop for just a moment to underline the power of living in the moment. It’s not easy since our minds will make up so many stories based on fear, revenge, guilt, anger, and righteousness. However, the more we practice living in the moment, the more that can be revealed to us. Here’s what happened for Chan Khong.

In the midst of the muddy mess, she looked over and saw a tiny red flower growing from

the side of a small rock.

That’s it!

No big deal, just a tiny red flower growing from the side of a small rock. Yet, What Chan Khong said to Thay about this moment is so special, it’s about the power of gratitude that we can all learn from.

She said that at that moment, hope returned inside her, thinking that if a tiny flower

can bloom so beautifully in the muck of war, so too could she continue to bloom

and help those around her.

She was able to look at the tiny red flower and show gratitude for its courage to

live and bloom.

She knew, in that moment, she too could live and bloom.

Gratitude can be exchanged for self-pity. It can make you feel better physically, emotionally and mentally. I suggest you spend the first 5 minutes, before you get out of bed in the morning, and give gratitude each day to three people or situations that make a difference for you.

Giving thanks can transform your life.

Business, Confidence, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

What happens when you put yourself first?

Sylvia Lafair
August 14, 2019

What happens when you put yourself first?

Are you seen as selfish, or even worse, as a narcissist?

And if you constantly put yourself at the end of the line, does that make you a good, caring person or a
whining martyr?

In times past…it was the protocol to be humble, smile, and not take much credit. That was polite and proper.
And in those olden days, if a child proudly said they did a great job of painting a picture, skating down
the street without falling, or baking chocolate chip cookies to die for, they were told to stop patting
themselves on the back and being self-serving.

Now, in this present era, there is a contest in all areas of life for people to puff up their achievements
and there is constant competition to be THE BEST.

How healthy are lots of bragging and the need to be better than everyone else? Even more to the point,
how possible is it to really become and stay in THE BEST spot?

One of my clients emailed me recently:

Dear Sylvia,

I took a nosedive for a few weeks feeling frustrated and depressed. I’m just about over that
ugly time and thought you would appreciate where I am now. As you know, I have always been the top
salesperson in my company and lately, there are a few young titans who are working 24-7 to take the
title away from me.

I learned from the coaching I’ve had with you to look at life in a more balanced way.

I really got that work-life balance is a big myth. You can’t cut your daily life into perfect pieces, like an apple pie.

Here is where I am now, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. I finally decided I will let these younger
people become the top sales gurus. I must admit, it took me a bit of time to look at my own ego needs
before I could let go of the B.S. of having to be THE BEST.

I know, I know, you kept hammering home that striving to be THE BEST and striving to stay there is just
plain stupid and can lead to exhaustion and overwhelm.

And thank you for constantly focusing on well- being as a top priority.

So now, I can put myself first by making sure I have all the physical, mental, and emotional nourishment I
need to support myself and also have the delight in knowing I am really good at my job and I can now be
of help to the younger ones and still, have a great career and good financial returns.

So many who have been THE BEST have to make way for others and how they do that shows how strong
they are internally.

I just read that tennis champion, Serena Williams had back spasms and had to leave the Rogers Cup Final
in Toronto. She is a great player and a positive person and rather than make excuses she handled herself
with elegance. No bragging, no defending, no explaining or justifying herself.

And just like me with my young titan sales folks who make me feel like an elder, the gal Serena played
against, Bianca Andreescu is only 19 years old.

Being THE BEST has taken on a whole new meaning that I want to share here. It means not competing
with others the way I used to, it means keeping myself strong enough to handle life’s challenges with dignity.

Like Serena, I want to continue to handle life’s challenges without needing to brag that I am THE BEST.

And I’m glad you have the tools to help people get out of the trap of our cultural obsession with needing
to be THE BEST.

Business, Change, Growth, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

My Radical Sabbatical Update

Sylvia Lafair
July 17, 2019

Several months ago, I took a ‘radical sabbatical’ to recalibrate and decide on the next steps for my career. I must admit, that one month now seems like several years ago.

Why?

Because I wanted to do something new and different and I wasn’t sure what that was. I found myself floundering and I couldn’t decide. I was stalled. My mind was like an old gerbil wheel and it kept going faster with no real insights about what road to take.

I was in analysis paralysis.

I took that month of no writing and minimal coaching and absolutely no new projects. Until…

I finally decided it was time to put all my long-term programs online and offer them to a larger audience around the world.

I am delighted with the decision. It took till the end of the second week of my radical sabbatical to find my new path and I couldn’t be happier.

I have been learning so much about best practices for marketing material and in doing so, I am also learning to see my work in a new and different way.

I also learned a faster and simpler way to new ways of thinking that I want to share with you here.

Stay with me, please….

Imagine sitting at the edge of a lake with your feet dangling in the water. It’s sunset and the sky is filled with pink, fluffy clouds. It is quiet.

You are alone. Just you, bullfrogs, the butterflies, and the breeze.

You breathe in the clean country air. At first, your mind is still on the latest frustration at work, the conflicts and tensions of getting things done. You are aware of the stress in your shoulders as you reenact the ‘shoulds, coulds, and didn’ts ‘ that put your stomach in a knot.

You are ready for, if not a radical sabbatical, at least for a time to unplug and relax.

Here are some tips to help you take a short holiday from your everyday trials and tribulations. And the good news is, you can do this every day to refuel and revision what you need to do next.

You can take your mind for a walk in the park, a moment at the lake, a day at the beach and yes, you can do this without leaving your desk.

How to take a mini radical sabbatical

Twenty minutes: This is the time science has shown it takes for you to calm your thoughts. You can call it meditation or simply being silent. All you need to do is focus on your breath; in through your nose and out through your mouth. Simply say “in” as you inhale and “out” when you exhale. You will begin to relax and very shortly the tension will melt from your body. Then you magically make space for new ideas to appear and old issues become easier to solve.
Ten minutes: Get up on your feet. Now it’s time to walk. Anywhere is fine. Just focus on your feet. Notice how you put each foot on the earth. Start with your heel and then slide to your toe. Notice if you put different pressure on your right or left foot. Go slowly and simply say “right “and then “left.” You will soon get into a comfortable rhythm and for 10 minutes you can simply be anywhere on the planet you prefer. AND, if possible, walk barefoot in the grass. This has been shown to really help with health and well-being.
Five minutes: Hummmmm. Yup, keep your mouth closed and start to hum. Play with different octaves. Start low and go high or vice versa. You may even get a bit dizzy, enjoy the feeling. You are really giving yourself an oxygen boost. When you stop, you’ll feel energized.

You don’t need six months or even a week to feel different. You need just a bit over half an hour to be by yourself and get centered. Most of us don’t take the time to readjust our nervous systems.

See this as your radical sabbatical and let me know how you feel.

3 habits that may be keeping you labeled as mega stupid

Business, Business and Life Patterns, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Success

These 3 habits may be keeping you labeled as mega-stupid

Sylvia Lafair
July 8, 2019

Who do you work with you think is a dumb ass?

Someone who you will never ask for advice. Did you ever take the time to sort out the different levels of stupid? Here is a thought to ponder: Ignorance can be educated, crazy can be medicated. But what is the cure for stupid?

There have been dopey leaders since the beginning of time. Some will own their mistakes while others just get a glazed look and say “huh?”

Here’s what Cicero, the Roman politician, and lawyer had to say way back in the day “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”

Check these 3 habits that can keep you labeled as mega-stupid.

And you know the old saying if the shoe fits …. It must belong to you.

Habit #1: Pattern repetition:

It’s so true that “if you also do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.” Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Tony Robbins, and many others have been credited with the quote. Take your pick, each is a super creative innovator and the opposite of a stupid leader.

Stupid means you hide under the covers when change is in the air. It means you are willing to end up with what worked in the past and is no longer relevant. That means stagnation and yes, pattern repetition.

Think about work this way for a minute…

The passion for being a leader or an entrepreneur is to be a creative problem solver. Once you solve a problem you get to the next problem and the creative juices keep flowing. It’s fun and challenging.

However, if you keep facing the same problems over and over and the responses are always the same, it’s no longer a problem. It’s a pattern.

Pay attention: when the tendency is to repeat ineffective, and often self-destructive behavior, you are in the realm of stupid.

Habit #2: Avoidance:

What do you do when a situation is uncomfortable? Do you find an excuse to leave or just pick yourself up to get out of the tension that conflict arouses? Here is a good quote to memorize from American philosopher Elbert Hubbard about being an avoider, “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”

Don’t take an avoider’s excuse at face value. They know what is going on and simply let others tackle the tough stuff. They usually only want to come back to talk when they think there will be a happy outcome.

Please remember that becoming self -aware is disruptive and inevitably requires change. And many times the change is embarrassing an even exhausting.

Stupid leaders let their fears keep them from engaging.

Habit #3: Denial:

This is a group of stupid leaders we could call the “NOTSEES.” (Say this fast and shudder!) They pretend the world is great and they are part of the truly best and the brightest. They always praise themselves, rarely do any research to see if what they are thinking has any true merit (flat earthers, anyone?), and they never have backup plans in case a dose of reality hits them on the head.

Denying what is going on will not make it go away (climate change, anyone?). It makes it tough for any real change to happen.

These stupid leaders will always point the finger at others while they defend their position, justify their thinking and attack those who disagree.

What can you do to help a stupid leader smarten up?

Your job is to speak up, stay centered and offer suggestions. You can talk about a book that will help your stupid leader take off the foggy glasses, even for just a brief time.

One great book is Whiplash: How to Survive our Faster Future by Joi Ito and Jeff Howe.

The cure for stupid is communication and compassion. You need to disrupt the traditional way of holding back what you are thinking and become a leader with your stupid boss or supervisor regardless of where you fit in the pecking order.

And, if you are the boss, maybe it’s a good time to ask HR to have a 360 assessment so you can see your weak spots in back and white.

I have a great assessment tool that has helped so many become better bosses and eliminate the 3 habits may be keeping you labeled as mega-stupid because it is focused on behavior patterns that are no longer effective. Send me an email and I give you the info.

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The Gratitude Intervention Challenge

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Check these 3 habits that can keep you labeled as mega-stupid.

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