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    CEOptions CEOptions
    • Home
    • About
    • Coaching
      • Coaching
      • Coaching
      • Transform Your Leadership & Your Life
      • Meet Our Certified Coaches
      • Need A Coach Quiz
    • Leadership
      • Leadership
      • Leadership
      • Total Leadership Connections™
        • Total Leadership Connections™
        • TOTAL LEADERSHIP CONNECTIONS™ LEVEL 1
      • Leadership Behavior Quiz
      • GUTSY Women Leaders
      • GUTSY Quiz
      • Know Your Communication Style Quiz
    • Store
      • Store
      • Books and Resources
      • Leadership Webinar Series
      • Whitepapers
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    • Call Us!570-233-1042
       
      Stress
      Confidence, Managing Stress, Stress

      Stress and Confidence

      • Sylvia Lafair
      • May 13, 2020
      • confidence, managing stress, Stress

      Hi everyone! Today, I’m going to talk about stress and confidence, and it brought to mind a time when I was in a very stressful situation that wasn’t meant to be stressful. It was supposed to be fun. Trust me, it was stressful and how even now, during this time of craziness, I pull on that to say, ‘You can do it to myself.’ So, here’s what happened.

      This is a bazillion years ago.

      I went to one of the first Tony Robbins firewalk programs. We were in Manhattan and they were about 200 of us, and it was right across from Penn Station. If you know Manhattan and we were on, I think the second floor of this place, we were learning the techniques to do the firewalk and I thought, ‘Well, I’ll learn the techniques but I’m not so sure I’m going to do the fire walk.’

      Anyway, off we go learning how to use neurolinguistic programming, and it’s very powerful. It was really a lot of fun. He was a great teacher and then he started down the stairs leading us out to the sidewalk where there were two. I think there were two places where you could do the fire walk. It was evening. There were three ambulances parked there, which you may just say, ‘What did I get myself into,’ and there I was doing my right arm up, looking at it, going cool moss, because what’s the opposite of hot fire? Well, it’s cool moss.

      So, there we were walking down this, there saying, ‘We can do it. We can do it.’ I still Wasn’t sure if I could and you could feel the stress mounting and the stress hormones just charging through my body, but it was fun right? It was a not. It was a contrived stress situation. Let me put it that way.

      So, when we got outside, I remember kind of looking around to see how other people were doing it, and somehow I got pushed toward the front of the line, and all of a sudden, there I was standing in front of the hot coals, looking up at this very tall man. He was about nine foot seven. I thought, looking up at Tony Robbins. If you don’t know who he is, go google him, but he’s a really big interesting guy, and I’m standing there, and he looked down, and I said, ‘No, no, I just came to see what it’s like,’ and he looked at me and he said, ‘You’re ready?’ He said. I’m ready. I didn’t say I’m ready, but all of a sudden there I am. I said, ‘I don’t think so.’ He said, ‘No, you’re ready.’ So, I took a deep breath, put my hand up, and walked across the hot coals saying, ‘Cool moss,’ got to the other side, and it was spectacular because I walked on this hot thing that was supposed to burn my feet, and I was fine, and then what you do is, you celebrate.

      So, people were there hugging me, and it was in days when we could hug each other. Not that long ago, hugging and celebrating and this went deeply into my nervous system. I could do something I didn’t think I could do, and it could really turn out very nicely. So, after I finished celebrating, I turn around, and then this is what’s interesting, my husband Herb was with us, with me and Julie my daughter, and all of a sudden, I turn around and I look and there’s Julie with her arm up getting ready to go, and I went, the stress really went high at that point because I said to myself, ‘Are you crazy? You are taking it with your own feet, that you could have risked burning is one thing, but taking your daughter? What if something happens?’ And I started to feel this stress going up.

      Anyway, it was too late. I’m already on the other celebration side. Julie walks across. Did a great job. Put her arm up and did the cool moss and then we celebrated, and then a little later Herb came across, and the three of us were really fine. It was so exciting.

      Now, Julie and I, and her but Julie and I and Herb, particularly have talked about this recently, and how when stressful situations occur. Now, we both can pull on that memory of that moment of walking across, doing something that looked impossible and we were able to do it.

      So, I want you to think about this. There is no such thing as a stress-free life. We all know that. Now, we’re all dealing in many ways with our own ways of handling either being furloughed or money not coming in or the dreams we had being pushed into the background, and we’re doing it.

      So, my suggestion when it comes to stress and confidence is, find a way. I’m not going to be doing a fire walk in these days, but find a way to do something that’s going to challenge you, that you know isn’t going to destroy you. Although, I have to tell you, there were a few people who did get burns on their feet. So, it’s not a simple walk across without any kind of issues, but find something that you can do, because doing something that’s very stress-filled and surviving it, overcoming it, getting past it will keep you strong during these times.

      So, to all of you, I say have a beautiful day. Find a stress situation you can master and let me know about it. So, to your success.

      Thank you so much. Till soon.

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      Communication
      Communication, Gutsy

      Communication to Captivate

      • Sylvia Lafair
      • January 22, 2020
      • Communication, communication skills, confidence, Gutsy women

      Hi everyone!

      I’m so glad you’re here with me today, and it’s talking about communication whichever you think of it. We will learn how to talk, It’s a little baby. You’d start with, da, da, da, da, ma, ma, ma, but somehow we started putting words together, and out of that, we created sentences. So, we all learned how to talk but big question or and big question.

      How many of us learned really how to communicate? And this month is dedicated to communication to captivate, and captivate means to intrigue, to get people to listen, to wanna really be with you, and I said, today I was going to just talk about four words, but I counted again after I wrote that, and it’s really five.

      One word is so short. I had put it together that really make a difference when you’re talking with people, with your boss, with your colleagues, with your direct reports, with your clients, with your neighbors, with your husband or wife, with your partner, with your kids, anybody, and it has a little bit of magic to it, but the big part of it is, you have to really in here. Believe it, because we are now picking up phone, errors and fakeness all over the place. I’m not supportive.

      I think what social media is in the middle of finding out what’s real, and what’s not, and we’re in the kind of in-between place. It’s, I call it, the people of the parenthesis. It’s where the old way doesn’t work anymore, and the new way hasn’t been fully created. So, we’re kind of in between that, and it’s an exciting place, because you can be creative and you can really do a lot of good things

      So, I’m going to give you the words but first, I’m going to give you an example of somebody I was working with, who was really really upset, and she was telling me about a situation at work doesn’t matter what it is. It’s not the point. The point is, she was really upset and I was listening and finally, I asked her a question and she told a deeper truth, and again it doesn’t matter what the truth was. I could feel it. I could feel she was sharing something. She was being authentic. She was in words, really, really being able to be vulnerable, and as we talked, I looked at her, and then I thanked her for what she said and I used the formula, but again it has to come from here. Not just here and it was what you said means a lot to me. That’s it, “it means a lot to me.” So, it means a lot to me.

      I told you five words not four. “It means a lot to me,” is a very powerful thing to say to someone.

      The room got very quiet and she looked at me and she said, “Thank you for that because I was really, really feeling awkward and uncomfortable being that vulnerable.” Well, I’m used to being people being vulnerable with me all the time. I mean I was a psychologist and a family therapist, and before I moved into the business world, and even in the business world, I really help people get to the core of their own truths. Some you can say one on one, as they would do with me, and some you say in a group, and I’m always saying, be careful where you tell your truth. Somewhere you’re being vulnerable. You don’t want to make a fool out of yourself or do something that’s going to end up giving feedback to you, that you don’t like, but those words stick with people.

      “It means a lot to me,” makes a difference because it goes in. It means you can hear them. They’re being heard. People are being heard and it’s a wonderful thing to do. So, I promise to keep these quicker and one sentence is all you get at a time anymore, because I know people are so busy. You can’t stay on too long. So, let me say this to end, “It means a lot to me that you’re here. It means a lot to me that you’re watching and listening. It means a lot to me that you care to make a difference in the world, and to find the best ways to communicate to captivate.

      So, sign up for a strategy session. My team and I are here for you. I have some incredible coaches I’ve worked with. Most of them for many years, and they’re really solid great people.

      Call me. I’d love to talk with you or email me and see if you’re in the mood to actually do something people aren’t doing much anymore. Read a book. My book “Gutsy” is great for women, and “Don’t Bring It to Work” still has major value for everybody in the workplace.

      So, have a beautiful day and thanks for watching.

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      Self-doubt
      Confidence, Leadership

      How Your Self-doubt Can and Does Destroy Your Relationships

      • Sylvia Lafair
      • October 28, 2019
      • confidence, Leadership, relationships, self-doubt

      I’m sharing how YOUR self-doubt can and does destroy YOUR relationships.

      In this video I share with you:

      + Self doubt is a learned behavior and where it often get started in your life.

      + What happens when your abilities clash with your beliefs.

      + How mirror neurons (huh, what are they?) help or hinder your relationships.

      Let me help you learn to challenge your negative self-talk and move to next level success.

      Are you ready to cast aside your self-doubt? Sign up for a strategy session and I’ll share the strategy and the steps you need to take in order to yourself move forward.

      Click this link and add yourself to my calendar: https://www.ceoptions.com/apply/

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